101 250 Rules for… Melodic Death Metal

September 7, 2014 § Leave a comment

1. Metalcore is not melodic death metal.
2. Don’t be Anders Fridén.
3. Claim that you are open to all genres of music, but only listen to melodic death metal.
4. If a band changes their sound, even a little bit, even in the opposite direction of mainstream music, accuse them of being sell-outs.
5. If you’re not Swedish, pretend to be.
6. Pretend that you see the difference between Children Of Bodom, Norther and dozens more Finnish bands.
7. Gothenburg, Sweden was named after the genre (without In Flames and Dark Tranquillity, it would be the nameless place!!!).
8. Opeth is not Gothenburg!!! (if you think otherwise drop yourself to a bottomless pit, you psycho!!).
9. If somebody tells you that At The Gates are the fathers of metalcore, punch him in the face.
10. Although Alexi Laiho paints his fingernails black, if you do the same you will look as gay, not as true Children Of Bodom fan. « Read the rest of this entry »

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