Guitargasm! A Novel. Part One.

December 28, 2014 § Leave a comment

Danny waits for the lights to go down before coming out of the back room. When all eyes are turned toward the stage, he slips out and moves into the crowd, keeping out of the club staff’s view. His brother Jay let him in through the loading door while the band was getting ready. Jay didn’t want him to get kicked out, so he kept him in the back until it was time for the band to go on. Danny figured he looked old enough to pass for legal, but Jay insisted: “wait until we’re on stage.
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101 Rules for… Power Metal

December 21, 2014 § Leave a comment

1. You have one goal: be epic.
2. Let no sound be lonely. If there’s a guitar solo, harmonize it. If there’s singing, make it a choir.
3. Keyboards offer a way to add thousands of different textures to a song. Find two of those that you like and use them on every song you write.
4. In a power metal world, everything steel is good, and anything good must be compared to steel.
5. You are not bound to sing about Satan, evil, and/or darkness.
6. You are bound to sing about dragons, freedom, and/or power metal.
7. Remember how no sound should be alone? Same goes for albums. Everything can have a sequel!
8. You are allowed to be blonde.
9. Swords enhance your credibility and your performance. Be sure to carry one regardless of whether or not you know anything about using one.
10. Pick a theme and stick to it. Manowar are warriors of true metal, and they don’t get to sing about anything else. Rhapsody has their Algalord chronicles. HammerFall has their steel, hammers, and Templar. Running Wild has pirates. Blind Guardian has Tolkien. None of them are allowed to sing about anything else. « Read the rest of this entry »

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